I know how it feels to stop and think “where did that part of me go?”. To get caught up in “chasing success” and “fitting in” only to wind up feeling “left out”. To fight the internal battle about how you’re not measuring up to other people. To spend all your time stressing and worrying and moving further and further from yourself. The gears grind to a halt and you end up feeling stuck in the mud with a person you don’t quite feel is you. I was overwhelmed, disconnected, and thought self development was a woo-woo land of unicorns and sage sticks that held nothing for me. Boy was I wrong.
With a successful and promising career in digital advertising, it was all work no play. So I took 18 months off at the age of 24 to indulge my wanderlust and travel the world. I didn't notice it then but I was unsatisfied, burnt out and depleted by the thought of hustling my way up the corporate ladder, and was deeply disconnected from my younger creative Self. While travelling I picked up an unwelcome and unlikely travel companion = an eating disorder. It was a reality check and I returned home without much gusto left for the advertising industry. But I shackled myself back in because it was "the right thing to do", "the only thing I'm good at", and "the only way I can earn a living" - right? But as a self confessed perfectionist it never felt “right” enough, I was never good enough, and was constantly terrified that I wasn't earning enough. Chasing my creativity would be totally irresponsible. I was in a complete state of lack and disconnection, both toward my career, my body and my Self.
Without really knowing why, I took a leap and enrolled in Pilates Instructor Training. "She broke free!" you're thinking? Not quite. I still held onto my digital career, because who would leave 6 years of achievement for a massive pay cut to teach Pilates? Fear continued to hold me back until I was given an opportunity to relocate to Denmark for 18 months. I used it as a change to unlock the shackles. I left my career in Australia and didn't take it with me. I took my teaching, and a burning desire to rediscover the creative + joyful impulse that I knew was in me but had buried under responsibilities. With all that mental energy returned to me, the support of my husband, a therapist, a wellness coach and a toolkit of books, podcasts, retreats and meditations - I found the key. Get your spark back. Then never let it go. I spent my time learning, challenging what I thought I wanted, backing myself, loving my body again, getting creative, and admitting the rhythm to which I wanted to live my life. Playing with the world. Redefining success. I now enjoy what I call a ‘bento-box’ career, wearing many hats as a writer, Pilates instructor, creative mentor, copywriter, and theatre promoter. Yes, it came with uncertainty, less security and less financial independence, but it also came with so much more. An Electrified Life. And that's what I want for you. To help you get that spark back. Read more of my personal story in this blog post "The Path to Here".