No New Years Resolutions

Friday, December 15, 2017

No New Years Resolutions

I have never been one for making New Years Resolutions. I know this may seem counter intuitive from a coach who works with people on setting and achieving goals to improve their lives. Yet the more I work with clients and see the success of committed and continual action, the more I believe New Years Resolutions to come from desperate faith in "January will be the time" rather than a solid place of Self Belief. The stakes are incredibly high when we set an expectation of ourselves to change in a month. I know, it is a new YEAR resolution, but the vast majority of us start to beat ourselves up by February if signs of change haven't come the way we wanted them to.

Why do we do this to ourselves? We spend the first month of the year planning to be “better than”, and because resolutions often miss two crucial elements, we are left with a devastating amount of room for perceived failure of not becoming "better enough":

1. The acceptance and belief that we are already worthy the way we are. We may want something different for ourselves, but we are not worthless without it. I prefer not to view the New Year as a clean state to start over, but rather as a chance to build on or make reconfigurations on the last year. An opportunity to learn, upgrade, improve, explore, rather than make sweeping changes in the pursuit of a “New You”. You are still you with every year that passes. In every year and every moment, you are valuable just the way you are. You can’t miraculously get that new {insert - body, car, job, house, career change, travel opportunity, relationship} without having the positive mindset and Self Belief to do so. Without it you will only continue to get in your own way. So replace “New Year, New You” with a “New Year, New View”. Start by changing the way you think and speak about yourself. The sweeping changes may still come, but they be from a place of honesty, reflection and self awareness rather than fear or resentment. These emotions are powerful enough to whisper in our ear "you've failed before, so will fail again. Just throw in the towel".

2. A solid commitment to put the time in. I bet many of you don’t remember your New Years Resolution by the time the next January rolls around. At the first moment of deviation from “the plan” the resolution is abandoned. Resolutions do not allow for bumps, roundabouts, u-turns, or forks in the road, which means they do not allow for the wonderful spontaneity of life to happen! Change requires time, commitment and constant adjustment or realignment at these points of deviation. Months may (and will in my experience!) go by where you feel very little forward momentum, a plateau of sorts, and then you'll skyrocket through periods of leaps and bounds. Ride these changes in tempo rather than let a slow shuffle turn into a complete stop. 

If you want to put this into practice then starting January 1st 2018, I am running a #newyearnewview challenge on Instagram with the aim to spend the month being present rather than planning to be "better". We will be doing service to develop that acceptance and belief that we are already worthy the way we are. Each day in January you will get a prompt through which to explore where you are right now. It is from this place of believing you are worthy of "bigger and better" things that you will sail on to get them. 

Each week will be themed and the prompts will be a mixture of thoughts, actions or tasks to complete. 

Week 1: Believe
Week 2: Acknowledge
Week 3: Experiment
Week 4: Design
Week 5: Give

Head over to Instagram and follow @thiselectrifiedlife to get the prompts. Share your explorations with me in the comments of each post, or use the hashtag #newyearnewview to show me snaps of your adventure! I'll also be giving away a FREE coaching series with me (valued at $540!) to one winner who jumps in to embrace the New Year with a New View, so be sure to get involved! 

Let’s start 2018 off with a an electric BOLT!

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