It’s almost the end of February and I am feeling fucking fabulous for all the fearless, flexible, fruitful, full, faithful, favourable and fantastic feelings I’ve found. WT...F?
You may have seen the concept of a guiding word or feeling for the year, usually a replacement of the old New Years Resolution. I was also inundated with these posts defining a focus for the year, but I don’t particularly like holding myself to anything (such a rebel). After some intention setting in December, and two months reflecting on what is tugging at me, and what is coming at me - I’ve noticed a domination of F words articulating what I want for 2018. So I am going rogue and playing with the letter ‘F’ as a reminder. No expectation, no specific action, just aware of where and when it comes up and using it as a reminder. I also kind of like that in the process, I am giving a big F-You to the connotation of an ‘F’ meaning Failure! None of that round here peeps.
After my 21 Day Self Care Experiment I really felt the benefits of living in flow. Clarity, calm, more confidence and self belief, less second guessing and shackling myself to a plan. As a recovering perfectionist and graduate of the “school of being busy” it is a profound change to loosen my grip on the todos and expectations and trust that what will be done with a day will only ever be what needed to be done with a day. All this brings such peace and joy that I want more of it! It is serendipitous as, without consciously choosing it, I'd say my word for 2017 was surrender so FLOW is a beautiful progression from that.
My tip for living in flow: take 2 minutes BEFORE you look at your phone or laptop each morning to check in with the first 3 “feeling words” that come into your head (regardless of if positive or negative). Then, before launching absentmindedly into your todo list where you left off yesterday, first set yourself an intention that respects your energy that day. For example; you wake up feeling overwhelmed, set the intention to turn off your notifications while you work on tasks. You wake up feeling distracted, set the intention to take regular mindfulness breaks throughout the day to return to the present. You wake up feeling overworked, set the intention to seek help.
As a self labelled tomboy since childhood, and a woman who has experienced disordered eating, negative body image, and exercise addiction, I have done a lot of self exploration into my relationship with the feminine. The beliefs I bring to it, and how I do or do not “fit” those beliefs or expectations. This work has brought me back to the feminine that I have been rejecting, and I am now cultivating such a beautiful relationship with her. One of my intentions set late last year is to “step into my womanhood, prioritise my sisterhood, and enter the realm of motherhood.” Since declaring this, I have felt a banshee rising in me, a wild woman calling to get out and celebrate. I want to dance around a bonfire.
My tip for coming back to yourself: how do you currently define or identify yourself? What beliefs do you bring to this? Are they true or are you trying to fit an expectation, prove yourself, be accepted or validated? Try rewriting your own definitions of these identities as they are true to you, rather than how society defines them e.g. feminine, creative, adventurous, entrepreneurial...
Certainly linked to the above, my fertility is tugging at me this year - but not just in the reproductive sense. I feel it in the realm of creative expression also. I believe creativity in all its forms is born only from a fertile foundation - physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. We must be abundant, nourished, supported, and open to forces greater than ourselves to do their part. So I am working on my fertile mindset to be a rich vessel for creations to take seed (both human and otherwise!!).
My tip for cultivating a fertile mindset: do not focus on what you don’t have, what is lacking, or not working e.g “I am not healthy enough to conceive”, “I have writers block”, “I’m not good enough at my craft”, “I don’t have the money to study” as this only keeps the soil barren. Instead do anything you can do give positive nutrients to your endeavour right now with the affirmation “every action delivers me an improvement on today”. These could be as small as a healthy meal, free writing, or taking a free online course.
This one may sound like a no-brainer, but there is a big difference between simply wanting things to be fun and actively seeking it. I have noticed a huge shift in my tolerance for play since coming home to who I truly want to be, what lights my spark, and practising Self Belief. Whilst I used to get frustrated and say “I don’t have time for this” when met with a carefree or silly moment that interrupted my hard work or plans, I now welcome them. My grip on the hustle for perfection has loosened and I now seek joy as a source of gratitude, motivation and productivity as it acts as a guaranteed power boost.
No tip on this electric ones, just give yourself permission to have fun, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy, unprofessional, naive, or immature.
Do you have a word or theme or letter for this year? I’d love to hear it so leave me a comment below!